You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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