Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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