Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she looked like the before picture.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
