yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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