looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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