we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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