Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
