I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize