if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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