Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Sorry about my life...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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