yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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