I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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