I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
