11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
