you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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