and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
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I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
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I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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