He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
