Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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