Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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