I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Randomize
