i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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