wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Never let your siblings swipe right.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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