He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
My ATM looks so different sober.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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