i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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