i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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