U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
