I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
