I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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