i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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