Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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