Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
