I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
