I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
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He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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