Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
