Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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