some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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