I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
