You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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