That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
