Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
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