I didn't shave. On purpose
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
