you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
