Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
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At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
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Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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