Having a random hookup so left but love u
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize