I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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