I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
