Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
