you turned your livingroom into a bong?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
