I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
