New low: just hacked my moms facebook
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize