Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
