i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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