you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
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